LET’S DO A COACHING SESSION

EP #18



“Do I need a life coach?” You’re listening to Episode 18, with Rhiannon Bush



Welcome to the Do I need a life coach? Podcast. We’re here to discuss the ins- and outs- of the life coaching industry and give you tools to use, to see for yourself. I’m your host, Rhiannon Bush. Mother, management consultant and a passionate, certified life coach.



So today I’m going to run you through a coaching session. Well, let’s be honest, it will be half a coaching session, because I’m not going to be there, in real time ready to bounce questions back to you… depending on what the answers are that you give me from questions that I prompt you with. So this is going to be very effective, especially if you’ve never done this coaching tool before, but I do need to just say that this is not a coaching session, this is a self-guided coaching session. And there’s a big difference between self coaching and working with a coach.



There’s this energy flow that happens in a real-time, two-way conversation. Especially when you have a coach client relationship built on the four pillars, and the four pillars are super strong. Anyone new to this podcast questioning what the four pillars are, go back and listen to episode four of my podcast, because I discuss the four pillars of a coach client relationship in detail in that podcast. When you have an optimal coach-client relationship (ie you’d rate each pillar a 10/10 meaning it’s as good as it could possibly be, it’s perfect), all the sensors for both coach and client a heightened. Meaning that you’re incredibly in tune with one another. When this happens communication is highly optimised because intuition plays a big part on both the coach and the client. What do I mean? It sounds a bit like mumbo-jumbo, but what I mean is that when I’ve had clients I’ve been incredibly in tune with, and we can listen, and see, and feel one another energetically, as a coach. I can feel when they’ve hit what we call the Boundry condition. I can sense when there is a secondary gain at play. To pull what I’m saying out of coaching lingo, I can tell when my client is hiding, and when they’re not being truthful with themselves, and I can sense when there are places they don’t want to go. And here’s a little secret I may not have shared with you yet, where you don’t want to go, it is exactly where you need to start. Because if you work with a good coach, you’re going to end up talking about the very thing you don’t want to talk about. And the reason for that, is that it is the thing holding you back. And if you’re paying a coach, you’re better off ripping the Band-Aid off and just going there, with the trust and safety and the relationship that you have with your coach. It may be why subconsciously, you’ve engaged with that coach.



Obviously, when coaching yourself, you can hide from yourself. Or you can be as truthful, as you think necessary, to move forward through the discomfort you’re currently feeling, but you typically will only move through it just enough for it to reside temporarily and for it not to be an issue any longer, in that moment. When working with a coach, you will address what needs to be addressed on a deep enough level to move through it, long-term, and sustainably. Because the current boundaries of your thinking prohibit you from really accessing and acknowledging what is going on on a deep, often sub or unconscious level. Like I said, this is most of the time. Not all of the time.



Especially for long-term behavioural patterns that have been sometimes a lifelong problem like over eating or other addictions with money, booze, food, its more likely that there are unrecognisable events that happened in the past, we may’ve even forgotten about, that feel unrelated, but established a behavioural response and an ongoing pattern that we now have and don’t want.



When you bounce off each other as coach and client, sometimes it can become confrontational but it’s also spectacular and a transformational experience. And as I’ve said, when you self-coach, there are limitations to your own thinking, and your own boundaries, that you’ve put around things, that you may not even be aware of, that will influence how impactful that work can be.



Most of the time it will have an impact. Self-coaching will definitely help you. It will help you get thoughts out of your head, it will get you seeing things from a different perspective or broaden your current range of thinking to incorporate new answers that you may not have had access to before, but I believe there are still limitations to the effectiveness of self coaching, when compared to seeing a coach. Having that impartial third-party witness and skilfully facilitate your self exploration and self discovery, which is exactly what coaching is, you will be able to overcome bigger boundaries and progress, even faster because you expose yourself to a much broader range of thinking and possibilities than what you can access on your own.



Today, I’m going to run you through a session, called the wheel of life. I have run this with rotary clubs, I have run this with coaches on their intake weekend, I have run out with many clients. It’s a great all-rounder because it covers our current state (A.) holistically, and enables my client to see where they’re doing well, and where there are areas of improvement. Often, clients I have done this session with think they know exactly what’s wrong and what area they want to focus their efforts on during our time together. Usually, after doing this session, they change their mind.



Let’s see if you get any surprises, shall we?



If you haven’t already, jump into the show notes at rhiannonbush.com/18 and download the Wheel of Life worksheet. If you have a pen and paper handy, just draw a big circle that takes up half the page, then do a big cross through the circle, followed by a big plus through the circle. This will segment the circle into 8 slices (think like a cake. If you’re not at a computer or aren’t able to write anything down, you can do this in your head. You’ll get it.



Let’s begin by remaining open, remaining honest and just seeing where this leads., ok? You may find it really valuable or you may not get too much out of it. If you’ve done this before and are familiar, there may be another or new lesson to be gained. I say that because I do this as a self-coaching exercise every quarter, just to see where I’m at. From understanding where I’m at now (Point A) I can work out where I want to be (point B) and what action I need to take moving forward.



Ok let’s start with Business and Career. Think about all the aspects of your business and / or career. If you work for somebody else, consider these. Your daily tasks and how much you like them, your colleagues, your working environment, your career prospects, your work-life balance, your training and up-skilling, your boss. If you work for yourself, in your own business, think about how are things going, your customers or clients, your business plan, your execution of that plan, your business model, your growth plans for your business, your work-life balance and the lifestyle you are experiencing because of your business.



The centre of the circle represents a 0 out of 10 – it’s terrible, awful, and it couldn’t get much worse. The outside of the circle represents a 10/10. Things are perfect, it couldn’t be better and you couldn’t be happier. Give yourself a score for how things currently are out of 10 and mark that in the circle.



The next segment we’ll cover is finances. It’s a big one for people as money often causes quite a lot of emotion so this one’s often interesting for people. Think about your income level, do you want a passive income, do you have one? Outgoings or expenses, savings, long-term financial stability, investments, are you living paycheck to paycheck? Do you have specific long-term financial plans? Are you working toward your next holiday or next big thing or do you have several accounts set up, and they’re filling up to achieve all of your dreams? Consider it all, and give yourself a score out of ten by drawing a line across the segment of the wheel.



The third section is health, which involves: Exercise – or lack of exercise, fueling your body with quality foods, staying well hydrated with the right kinds of liquids, relaxation time, sleep, how you feel in terms of your daily vitality, how often you get sick with colds, flu and so on? Are you dealing with any long-term or chronic illnesses? Take it all into account and give yourself a score out of ten.



Now we’ll talk about family and friends. Remember we’re talking about current state, and this is YOU we’re scoring and how YOU feel about it. Not them. This is about the quality of your relationships from your perspective – your support network, your circle of influence. It include the frequency of interaction with those people – is it not enough, just right, too much? The quality of relationships with those people – have the conversations that need to be had, being had, or are things being swept under the rug? Are there tensions, things left unsaid, or niggling problems that have been left to fester? Supportiveness of those relationships – are they supporting you in your ultimate goals and dreams, emotionally, physically, spiritually? Or are you in need of more support and nurturing? Growth and progress of those relationships – are you growing and learning together or is there a mismatch in your goals and thoughts, leading to stagnation? Long-term future of those relationships – can you see a positive future or are things on the downhill slide now? Take it all into account and give yourself a score out of ten by drawing a line across the segment of the Wheel.



Next we’re going to talk about romance, and this isn’t discussed enough I believe, particularly for women. If you’re single, you don’t have to skip this one because this is about creating indulgent, intimate moments for and with yourself. As we talk about frequently, our thoughts create our feelings and therefore if we ever feel sexual, or aroused or connected, it’s because our thoughts are giving that feeling to us, our thoughts are generating that. So somebody else can only give us so much of what we need. Think about, currently, the ability to create indulgent moments for yourself with whatever feels good for you – long baths, massages, aromatherapy, treating yourself with love. Feelings of love and appreciation – deep satisfaction and love for who you are right now – whether they come from an intimate partner or from yourself. Love and romance with a loved one – quality time, quality conversations, getting the emotional and physical connection that you need, meeting your love needs fully. Take it all into account and give yourself a score out of ten.



Our next segment is Growth - learning and evolving yourself, are you? Or are you feeling stuck, stagnant? Think about the following areas - Spiritual growth and learning, emotional and intellectual growth and learning, dealing with your emotional stuff, getting past old blockages and getting rid of behaviours that you no longer want. Finding more happiness, love, connection or whatever it is that brings YOU your sense of, “this is what I want” and “this is who I really am”. Take it all into account and give yourself a score out of ten by drawing a line across the segment of the wheel.



Our second last segment – we’re nearly there, I promise, is Fun and Recreation – which is a favourite of most clients I’ve coached. Consider this: Time – how much time do you spend on fun and recreation? Is there a good balance or not enough? Quality – are you doing quality things that are really satisfying for you? Are they what you would call high quality activities? Frequency – how often do you make time for fun and recreation? Enjoyment – are you actually enjoying your free time or are you doing activities that aren’t all that enjoyable for you? Adventure or connection – are you getting a good dose of these if you want them? Using fun & recreation to help you grow personally too? Is it contributing to all your other goals? Is it helping you? (e.g. are you eating out instead of being active and then wondering why your health score is low?) Take it all into account and give yourself a score out of ten.



Last but not least is our physical environment. Physical environment. is to do with your physical environment at work and at home, or wherever else you spend your time, so it’s a combination of those several different areas. You might have a fantastic working environment and be crammed into a tiny, overcrowded apartment – so that would put your overall score somewhere in the middle because you might have high satisfaction with one, low satisfaction with the other. Think about your levels of comfort – are you meeting the basic need for comfort? Ergonomics – are you moving, sitting and resting in ways that are good for your posture and your body? Free space – do you have enough? Being surrounded by your perfect environment – whether it is beautiful and sophisticated, natural environment, urban culture, etc.? Fresh air – do you have enough? Natural light – do you have access to it as often as possible? Temperature – are you comfortable with the temperatures you live and work in? Take it all into account and give yourself a score out of ten by drawing a line across the last segment of the wheel.



Your wheel may look a little unbalanced, or it may look very round. What matters is your level of satisfaction you’re currently experiencing in your life, or where you may be neglecting areas you’d like to focus more conscious energy on. For the next bit, pick a section. Hint: it may not be your lowest scoring area.



Ask yourself (and answer) the following:

How do you currently spend your time in this area?

How would you like to spend time in this area?

How could you make space for the changes that you want to see?

Can you make the changes on your own?

Who else do you need on your team?

What actions or decisions could you take that would make it a 10 out of 10 for you?

What would a 10 look like, feel like?

What are three action steps you can take right now, to begin moving you to where you want to be?



What was your light bulb moment or biggest takeaway? Did you have any ‘ah ha’ moments? Remember it’s action that matters. Have a great week my friends, see you next week.



Hey! Before you go, I always find reviews really helpful when looking for new information or insights…



I you’ve found this podcast valuable, please take a minute to write a quick review about what you’ve found most beneficial for you, so other people can benefit from your insights, and listen in too. I would LOVE that!

Also, if there are any topics you’d like me to cover specifically about life coaching or the life coaching industry, visit rhiannonbush.com to contact me. Thanks for joining and I’ll see you in the next episode of Do I Need A Life Coach?!


Please note, this transcription may not be exact.