“Do I need a life coach?” You’re listening to Episode 1, with Rhiannon Bush



Welcome to the Do I need a life coach? Podcast. We’re here to discuss the ins- and outs- of the life coaching industry and give you tools to use, to see for yourself. I’m your host, Rhiannon Bush. Mother, management consultant and a passionate, certified life coach.



I’m so excited to be here. Welcome to the very first podcast of ‘Do I Need A Life Coach?’!

I decided to do this podcast after being a part of coaching industry for a long time, to answer questions and bust any misconceptions about life coaching, the life coaching industry, and what it’s all about. After everything this industry has done for me and the way in which it’s enhanced my life, I’d love to share some of my insights and experiences to give you the confidence and the clarity that it can do the same for you.

So…

If you have a level of curiosity about coaching

If you’ve heard about life coaching and are considering maybe getting a coach; or

You may be looking to become a life coach, or be a qualified coach already



Then this podcast’s for you. Some of you may find this information I share, brand new and it be a little brain-bending which is a good thing – bear with it!

Others of you may find it very basic but my aim is to leave you feeling hopeful, accurately informed and able to be proactive about the way you’re deciding to live your life right now and address the choices you’re making.



Who am I? Why listen to me?



I’ve been a part of coaching industry for a long time, like I said. I’ve done hundreds of hours of coaching, generated millions of dollars and have also trained life coaches. I’m an Unleash the Power Within firewalker and a Master Practitioner of NLP. More than that, I just love coaching!



The coaching industry is one that I've contributed to, thrived within and it’s given me a lot. I've also, at times, felt hard done by, questioned it and really resisted it. So we’re going to talk about all of that on this podcast. I’m here to be open and transparent and give you real value in the time we spend together.



So… do you need a life coach?



There are so many reasons people hire a life coach. So many. Some of the reasons people see life coaches for is addiction, weight loss, career, leadership, business, legacy, sports, money, kids, relationships, love, employment, productivity and time management, … so many reasons.



I first saw a life coach for weight loss. I had 3-sessions and it changed my life forever because in those sessions, it completely changed the way I’d been thinking about my body, my weight and my health.



This is so important to understand, because all of our actions are driven by our feelings and our feelings are created by the thoughts we think. Let me repeat that and I want you to really pay attention: all of our actions are driven by our feelings and our feelings are created by our thoughts. Everything we do, good or bad, is driven by our desire to feel a certain way. To feel a certain thing.



All the books I’ve read, people I’ve been trained by, mentors and fellow coaches teach this: Tony Robbins, Dr D Martini, Brooke Castillo, Mel Robbins. This is not a new theory, it has not been created by me but I know it to be true by the clients I’ve had the privilege of coaching, the coaching I’ve also participated in and the transformations I’ve seen and experienced along the way.



The thoughts we have need to be monitored because when we have repetitious thoughts over a prolonged period of time, our conscious awareness of those thoughts becomes less and less. This makes the thoughts we have more difficult to change.

It’s why if you’ve been trying to change a habit for a long time – waking up at 6am to get to the gym, not reaching for the chocolate to sit down in front of the TV after dinner, transferring that money straight away into savings instead of spending it, dedicating those few hours a week to start your business, stopping after that one glass of wine, whatever it may be, you may not be aware of the thoughts you’re having which is preventing you from making that change permanently and instead instead it’s keeping you stuck.



When we do those behaviours, whether we consciously like them or not, whether they’re contributing to making our lives better or not, we’re used to feeling a certain way when we do it.



For example, I love nothing more than sitting down in front of the TV after the kids are in bed and everything’s been cleaned up and put away, grabbing my favourite chocolate and eating it. It makes me feel relaxed, calm and rewarded. Do I over-do it, yes. Should I eat it? No. Do I need it? Absolutely not, I’ve just had dinner. Does it help me feel skinny and sexy and energised? No.



And the kicker… do I resent myself afterwards, and beat myself up and feel awful about myself afterwards? Yes. So is it worth doing in the first place? Recognising the thoughts creating those feelings, and working out whether the chocolate contributes to that feeling of rest and relaxation is key. Because by knowing the thought consciously, we can change the thought. The change in thought will change the feeling and that can permanently change the behaviour. The feeling of beating myself up, of resenting myself will never create the change I want to see.

Another example of this is, have you heard of, or do you know anybody who quit something cold-turkey or made a dramatic decision to change. Alcohol, cigarettes, or something like that? My partner lost 40kg. He was bullied and was sick of being bullied. He was once bullied so badly, something snapped – that thing, that ‘snapped’, by the way, was a thought in his mind - and suddenly he was so driven to change his eating habits. He began immediately, he was 16 and started cooking for himself. He lost 40kg! and changed his life forever.



The catalyst was a different and new thought in his mind, that changed the emotions driving his actions. This is the foundation on which life coaching is built. This is why having a coach works and I’ll go into this further over the next few podcasts. Being aware of the thoughts in your mind is the difference between making lasting changes or continuing in the same cycle, getting the same results.



If you’re feeling stuck, confused, lazy, unsure, jaded… if you’re feeling anything you don’t want to feel, or you’re not taking action towards what you want and the life you want to live, these are all great reasons to consider talking to a life coach.



We start our lives off as children believing in fantastic ideas and not being able to distinguish fantasy from reality. As we grow, we become highly impacted by the environment around us – other people, societal expectations like paying bills, being loyal to a job, taking care of other people. This shapes the course we take. As we continue on this path, especially as responsibility increases in the way of work, or family, or money, or other commitments we’ve made… it becomes increasingly riskier to change course and start again, even if that means chasing our dreams and our deepest desires. But what I know to be true, for myself and the clients I’ve coached, is that if you’re not chasing those dreams or desires, if you’re not doing those things that light you up, you are, in some way, suffering or depriving yourself of pure joy. And that is impacting the rest of your life, and consequently those around you. Whether you mean to, or not because often, the things that light us up are unconscious and unexplainable.



All coaching is about facilitating the journey from A to B. Where somebody is right now, let’s call it ‘A’, and they want to get somewhere else, let’s call it ‘B’. But they have no idea how to do it, or why they haven’t got there already after trying a few different things.



For example, I’m 66kg and I want to be 60kg. I earn $80k and I want to earn $100k. I work for somebody else but I want to work for myself.



A to B.



It’s important to understand that this is the foundation of life coaching and how it differs to other forms of counselling or therapy.

Coaching is what we call future-paced. It differs to therapy and counselling which are more cathartic and event-based. Some of the things I’ve heard my clients say are the reasons they hesitated to see a life coach was because they didn’t want to lie on a couch talking about all their feelings or what they experienced in their childhood.



Let me make it very clear, that there is sometimes a need for cartharsis when an experience or trauma is raw or unprocessed. The event may have happened recently or years ago, but if left unprocessed still requires that cathartic expression to process through the body and allow the space to move forward. This is an important part of the healing journey and sometimes but not often, a life coach with the appropriate tools may briefly venture into this territory. Briefly. I have used a few forms of therapy I’m trained in with clients I’ve seen, but if that is prolonged, I refer them the relevant mental health professional with that specific training.



Life coaches have the ethical liability to refer clients to other mental health professionals in areas they are not trained. Like psychiatrists. Psychiatrists are they only professionals that should ever discuss, recommend or advise on psychotic medications. They are the only ones qualified to do so.



Psychologists and counsellors will often discuss trauma, the events, the problems a client is experiencing and the details of those events. This provides the space for catharsis, analsyis and processing the emotions being experienced.



Life coaching, on the other hand, is future focused. A to B. In the show notes, I have a worksheet you can download to do a quick evaluation of what’s going on for you right now, and it will help you assess whether a life coach would be helpful for you, or whether you’re on track and should just keep going. So be sure to download that if you’re thinking that maybe you do need a coach.



It’s important to note that our brains are meaning-making machines, more in a later podcast, but consider movies or what we like to watch on TV. Our brains love drama – reality TV, villains, heroes, saviors, survival, triumph and there is a formula most movies follow. The meaning we give things matters and we have the ability to control that, when we know and understand why we’re making something mean a particular thing.



For example, I remember… one of my clients hired a new staff member and months later, she wasn’t delivering on her KPIs. This was an issue for my client because of the rate my client was paying her. He was grappling, internally, because he was making it mean he hadn’t given her the tools to succeed in her role, that it was his responsibility for her to succeed. After evaluating what was in and out of his control, he realized that there wasn’t more he could’ve done to set her up for success but there were some things he could put in place to support her more. However it was also important to establish a timeframe in which he required those results. At the end of the coaching session, he was clear on the conversation he needed to have to be fair to both of them. This gave him clarity, structure and a clear path forward in a way he felt comfortable with. A to B.

For those of you who are skeptical as to whether I, his life coach, was necessary.. Let’s address that. Could he have worked this out on his own? Yes. Would the end result have been the same? Maybe. Was it more considered, more thorough and full-proof, and significantly faster for him to reach that outcome by having a coaching session to work it through? Absolutely!



While I’m on this topic, I’ll also address the difference between a mentor and a sponsor to a life coach. To do this, I need to define what a life coach does. I will dedicate a whole podcast to this because it’s such great knowledge to have before you employ a life coach but quickly and very basically, a life coach is trained in reading body language and other sensory queues, as well as knowing how to ask great questions and has frameworks of questions. This combination allows the client the space to self-explore and self-discover. There is something magical that happens, when a coach holds space to allow for this to occur in front of them.



I remember so vividly in my coach training doing an exercise where the coach had to act like a statue, and the client had to answer a big philosophical life question. I think the question was “what is love?” and we had 5 minutes each. I can’t begin to tell you the clarity you’re able to get with your own thoughts, when there is firstly another person listening to you, and secondly, that person isn’t responding as society has conditioned them to respond. It was a profound exercise, both as coach and as client.



So in saying that, a mentor is someone who has a skill you want. You model their behaviour, to learn what they do, how they do it and so you can have the exact same result they have. This is absolutely not what a life coach does because mentoring involves advising. Life coaching does not. I will say, when some coaches have niched and have expertise in the area they have chosen to specialize their coaching practice in, they will most likely do a cross between coaching and mentoring with their clients. Purist coaching, however, is a 100% questions-based practice where the coach will not offer their personal opinion or advise. There may be some visualisations or meditations in that practice but again, no personal opinion or objective view point offered by the coach.



Lastly, a sponsor is somebody in the workplace or extra-curricular activity (like sport), who has more power and clout in that industry than you at that time. They believe in you and your abilities, and will advocate for you to progress faster than what you would without them. The thing about a sponsor is that they’ll put their reputation on the line for you, and that’s something to remember when asking someone to be your sponsor. It’s not only your reputation you need to consider, it’s also theirs. In my opinion, every ambitious person who is looking to progress faster in that particular thing – work, sport, or something else, should have a sponsor and the sponsor should be very carefully considered and the relationship expectations outlined.



There are a few obvious stigmas around life coaching. One question I’ve been asked is a few times is ‘who are you to advise me on my life?’. Another is the expectation that as your coach, I’m going to always be your friend and tell you exactly what you want to hear, or that I will have a magical, unicorn-like ability to make your life perfect and leave you feeling 100% happy all the time.



The last stigma I’d like to briefly address, is that coaching is a cult or a scam or some kind of paranormal vortex that if you get sucked into you’ll never come out of again… or someone will charge you an exorbitant amount of money and brainwash you. I promise you, this is not the case.



I will be addressing these more throughout future podcasts, but let me say right now, coaching is merely a tool. And tools will be used in accordance with the ethics of those who have them. My life as it is today, which is pretty brilliant, I attribute to coaching. The coaching I’ve experienced has been incredible quality, delivered by incredible coaches. I aim to deliver the same for my clients and so far, so good.



There are ways you can ensure you hire a credible, reputable life coach. There are qualifications and certifications they have achieved through study they have undertaken, there is also what we call social proof in the way of reviews and testimonials from previous clients that you can read – mine are listed on my website and I know a lot of fellow coaches do this as well.



My recommendation is that getting a referral is a great place to start. Provided you think reasonably highly of the person referring you to the life coach, you’ll be in safe hands. I also recommend hiring a coach who has niched specifically to the problem you’re experiencing if you know specifically what that is. When I first hired a coach, it was for weight loss. I used to niche but found I coached a diverse range of problems my clients were experiencing anyway so I no longer only coach a specific niche.



If you want to know more, or if you want help finding a coach, you can always reach out to me, just go to my website - rhiannonbush.com, and send me an email via the contact page. I’ll happily help.



By far, the most important ingredient in a coach-client relationship is the relationship itself. I’ll be recording a podcast on rapport and a bit about the neuroscience behind why this is such a key ingredient for a client’s success.

Trust, confidentiality, a judgement-free zone and psychological safety are the four pillars to client success in a coach-client relationship. Without these four pillars, raw honesty will be the thing that prevents full disclosure by the client. This will be the barrier to recognizing the thoughts and processing the existing emotions which will ultimately lead to changing the behaviours to get you where you want to be. In other words, you must like, even love, your coach!



I’ve had clients tell me things they’ve never told anyone. I considered telling you a few stories from various clients I’ve worked with, but every story I could share felt too personal to my clients and it goes against my code of confidentiality for them and my ethics as a coach. So I won’t be sharing their stories, but it’s been incredible to watch the transformation occur from within them them once they have finally released that story in the open. Sometimes we’ve been able to address how they want to feel instead. Other times, they’ve wanted to spend some time with it. But the catharsis involved in sharing paves the way for a spectacular beginning. A clean slate. A fresh start.



Not all sessions are heavy. Actually, most aren’t. But the odd session, usually early in a client’s coaching journey, are big releases. They’re carthartic and after that, the path is clear to rebuild and move forward.



It’s a beautiful thing to witness. Oh and just to confirm, I too regularly get coaching. Even now, years on. The reasons I get coached now is for faster progress and bigger results. I like to make decisions and move forward quickly and having a coach helps me keep my mind clean and keep progressing faster than I would otherwise. Again, more about this in later podcasts.



So… have I convinced you yet? Na… just joking but before we wrap up today, if this has got you thinking or pondering things… I do want you to consider the following questions for yourself and where you are right now. Just a few little questions. Ready?

Am I taking action to get what I want?

If I am taking action, is it getting me results?

If I’m not taking action, why?

What are the reasons I want this?

How soon do I want this?

What will happen if I do nothing different?

What is the worst thing that may happen if I did see a life coach?

What is the best thing that could possibly happen if I saw a life coach?

Is what I want, worth it?

What action will I take, now?



As I mentioned earlier, these questions are in the Worksheet available to download in the show notes.



I hope this has helped clarify a few things. There are so many more things I want to share with you and help you with when it comes to you, your life and choosing to see a life coach to get what you want.



I’m looking forward to sharing more with you soon, have a great week, we’ll speak again soon.



Hey! Before you go, I always find reviews really helpful when looking for new information or insights…



I you’ve found this podcast valuable, please take a minute to write a quick review about what you’ve found most beneficial for you, so other people can benefit from your insights, and listen in too. I would LOVE that!

Also, if there are any topics you’d like me to cover specifically about life coaching or the life coaching industry, visit rhiannonbush.com to contact me. Thanks for joining and I’ll see you in the next episode of Do I Need A Life Coach?!


Please note, this transcription may not be exact.