YOUR YEAR SERIES – LET’S CELEBRATE

EP #83

 

“Do I need a life coach?” You’re listening to Episode 83, with Rhiannon Bush

 

Welcome to the Do I need a life coach? Podcast. We’re here to discuss the ins- and outs- of the life coaching industry and give you tools to use, to see for yourself. I’m your host, Rhiannon Bush. Mother, management consultant and a passionate, certified life coach.

 

 

Congratulations. You have made it through 17 episodes – Episode 67 – 83, and done a tonne of self-reflection and exploration to set a goal that is both meaningful to you and achievable.

 

How do you feel?

 

My hope is that you are feeling exhilarated. You are excited by the possibilities, you are pumped to take action, and you have set your goal across a reasonable time frame to prevent your normal habits and tendencies creeping back in; and given yourself the space to recognise that when it happens, and still keep going along the path to achieving your goal.

 

I can't stress how important it is to celebrate. So today's episode is about coming up with key ways that mean a lot to you to recognise and reward your efforts. And the caveat to doing celebrating is that celebrating doesn't cost you anything. Celebrating actually enriches your experience, it helps you stay on track, and it fuels your positivity and energy to keep moving forward.

 

Remember back to the first episode of the Your Year Series when I asked you a fulfillment question? I asked you how fulfilled you are and to give yourself a score between one and 10. One being not fulfilled at all, 10 being very fulfilled. Now you've completed the Your Year Series with the exercises, even if the outputs of what you've done each time isn't perfect, what is your level of fulfilment now? What’s your score out of 10?

 

Let me promise you this. If you have listened to all 17 episodes and you have done the activities and given yourself the space and time to follow the instructions that I've given throughout The Series, I promise you that that number will have changed.

 

Have you ever thought about  the fact that we get older, we realise that the anticipation of an event is often more exciting than the event itself?

 

Think about Christmas. Think about parties or major events. Unless we have that intrinsic challenge that we have to overcome to achieve something, often the anticipation of an event is far more exciting and enthralling than the event itself. Only when the event forces us to overcome something within ourselves - to be better, stronger, braver, does the event marry up to the anticipation of it.

 

I've coached a lot of clients who have spoken about affairs, and the common thread is that the lead up to actually crossing that line to call it an ‘affair’ is the exciting and thrilling part that they love because there's so much mystery and unknowns involved. But once that line is crossed, a lot of it doesn't live up to the fantasy and the thrill that was made out in their minds before the actual event had occurred.

 

Just to reference David Goggins again, he talks about the fact that so many people sign up to events like ultra marathons, or physically difficult challenges when they're sitting at home on the couch, comfortable, with a beer and a full belly. And how in that moment you can't anticipate the hardship or the trials and tribulations you're going to have to conquer and overcome to actually complete the thing.  And that's OK. A lot of things we can’t mentally prepare for and this is what I’ve aimed to give you during the Your Year Series. Just don't let the good feels you get in anticipation of achieving your goal be something that throws you off actually achieving it.

 

I remember doing a 28-day challenge that my partner, Damien, runs with clients. It's like a detox for your system to stop eating sugar and gluten and carbs, just to shred a bit of weight. It's not designed for long term and sustained weight loss, it is a quick solution to just get back on track and shock the body. And I dropped 5 kilos in these 28 days. And i remember my dad seeing me in the kitchen and he said “gosh you're getting skinny”. And by the way, I’ve never been called skinny in my life. But I let that comment completely derail me because the thought that came after that was “well I’ve got it now, so I can do what I like” which meant that I went back into my old eating habits, which was what kept me at my original weight in the first place. Obviously. So all those kilos found me again 

 

I want to cover a few things, the first being that don't let the feeling of anticipation and the excitement and everything that the anticipation of achieving a goal brings, be the thing that derails you or keeps you from moving forward. You haven't actually done the thing yet.

 

The second thing I want to cover off is how important it is to celebrate your achievements along the way. Our unconscious mind needs to celebrate. It needs recognition of what it's done so it puts it to bed, embeds that behaviour, and then from there we can hit the next level and level up. It’s key to our comfort zone remaining expanded so we can then expand it even further. Think about a rubber band you stretch. Your comfort zone is in the centre. That band needs to relax and remain at that new stretched size, to then be able to safely stretch further. It needs to remain adjusted. That’s what celebrating enables our unconscious mind to do.

 

Celebrating serves as a form of reinforcement by validating achievements and reinforcing positive behaviours and thought patterns. When we celebrate, especially with emotions like joy or pride, it sends powerful signals to our unconscious mind, affirming that the desired actions or outcomes are valuable and worthy of recognition. This helps embed those behaviours deeper into our subconscious, making it more likely for them to be repeated further in the future. It’s a really positive and important thing.

 

This also feeds into the reason we need to enjoy the journey. Because who we become on the journey to achieving what we want to achieve is the thing that matters and it's also the thing that makes it sustainable. If we got what we wanted easily, we'd already have it. We would already be the person we need to be to have the thing we want to have. And we'd be doing the things that we want to do, to get it, easily.

 

So the reason that you've set this goal is because you don't have it, you want it, and you are not being or doing the things that you need to do, to achieve it. And that's OK. Be kind and compassionate with yourself.  And enjoying the changes within yourself are what make goal attainment sustainable. Feeling better because you're eating less, going on dates to meet different people to find the love of your life, seeing your bank account grow as you put money away and save a deposit for a house knowing that you're getting closer to that instead of going and spending it on frivolous things… All of these minor things are actually big achievements on your way to attaining your goal because the little things equal the big things. The big things don’t happen without the little things. They matter and they deserve to be recognised and rewarded, provided that that recognition and that reward fuels you to keep going and keep moving forward.

 

How do you like to celebrate?

 

Grab your notepad and pen and write this down. Then bookmark it with a tab or something. There are common ways to celebrate – out to dinner, sparkling wine, getting a massage, treating yourself with a new purchase of some kind. All great options. Consider the milestone for the size with which you reward yourself.

 

I want you to think about what you loved doing as a child? What did you spend hours doing? Riding a bike? Going for walks? Painting? Pottery? Gardening? Write it all down and refer to it when you reach your milestones.

 

I flew a kite recently with my kids and it was awesome. I didn’t realise it was so pleasureable so you can also try that.

 

The other thing to mention is that when you reach a milestone to write it down. I’m a spread sheet girl and so I would write all my ‘wins’ in there. I recorded the date, who was involved, what happened and most importantly, how it made me feel. I’ve kept it for a long time and the reason it’s so valuable is because if there are times when you feel disheartened or like you won’t get to where you want to go, you can refer to it and remind yourself of all the good things that have happened. It’s 4x easier for our minds to recall and remember negative things because it’s linked to our survival and conditioning. So having a tool – like a wins sheet – is a great way have access to a tool outside yourself to serve as a reminder. I highly recommend it.

 

How are you going to celebrate? Write down one small way, one medium way and one big way you’ll reward yourself when you’ve reached your milestones. And make sure you really bask in that reward. You earned it.

 

And that’s it folks. You’ve made it. You’re all set to go and conquer your goals and achieve your dreams. Well done!

 

We have:

1. Set your goal

2. Broken your goal down into manageable steps and made it SMARTER

3. Visualised and felt your goal

4. Looked at what drives your behaviour and how you can use that

5. Opened up your mind to thinking bigger

6. Considered any hurdles you may need to overcome and provided tools for managing that through quality questions, letting go and clearing past moments that may hold you back

7. Defined success

8. Lit your fire by really asking what you’re willing to do

9. And so much more

 

I've crafted a brief survey that will only take 5 minutes of your time, and your input is incredibly valuable to me. Your feedback will greatly assist in enhancing my work. You'll find the survey link in the show notes. Your participation also enters you into a drawing for a chance to win 10 hours of complimentary coaching with me. I'd sincerely appreciate your thoughtful response!

 

Congratulations again. I can’t wait to hear how this journey works for you and to hear about you achieving your dreams.

 

I’ll see you next week.

 

 

Hey! Before you go, I always find reviews really helpful when looking for new information or insights…

 

I you’ve found this podcast valuable, please take a minute to write a quick review about what you’ve found most beneficial for you, so other people can benefit from your insights, and listen in too. I would LOVE that!

Also, if there are any topics you’d like me to cover specifically about life coaching or the life coaching industry, visit rhiannonbush.com to contact me. Thanks for joining and I’ll see you in the next episode of Do I Need A Life Coach?!

 

 

Please note, this transcription may not be exact.