YOUR YEAR SERIES – YOU HAVE PERMISSION

EP #82

 

“Do I need a life coach?” You’re listening to Episode 82, with Rhiannon Bush

 

Welcome to the Do I need a life coach? Podcast. We’re here to discuss the ins- and outs- of the life coaching industry and give you tools to use, to see for yourself. I’m your host, Rhiannon Bush. Mother, management consultant and a passionate, certified life coach.

 

Permission. “The act of allowing someone to do something, or of allowing something to happen”. That someone is you. I, Rhiannon Bush, hereby authorise you to chase after your dreams, achieve them and live the exact life you wish to live. There. You have it. How do you feel?

 

Priya Rana Kapoor describes giving yourself permission as what happens when you decide and allow yourself to do what’s best for you, whether that’s saying no to a needy friend, taking care of your immediate needs so you can be more present with your relationships, or sometimes even allowing yourself to think about what you might want to do with your life.

 

I love that. I love it because so often we’re walking around, living by the rules we’ve set ourselves that we aren’t even aware of, and we just go through life in this operating rhythm getting the same results over and over again.

 

But you deserve the life you want. You deserve to achieve the things you want to achieve. You can do this. And if you need permission, I’ve just given it to you.

 

I give you permission to say no when you need to. I give you permission to take the time to do the things you need to do for you. I give you permission to change absolutely everything about your life if you choose to. And it is your choice. Nobody can make choices for you.

 

Brene Brown talks about permission slips. What permission slips would you write for yourself right now? What are you not taking for yourself that you need to, for your health and wellbeing and for your goals?

 

In entrepreneur land there’s an expression “seek forgiveness, not permission” and I highly recommend taking that expression on for yourself. This is not about being naughty or deceiptful. This is about realising that you can make changes to suit yourself, and the world won’t cave in as a result. Permission can simply be the admission that you’re dissatisfied with something. The possibilities and openness that admitting things that you’ve been holding onto is an incredible first step. Nobody’s forcing you to do anything. Ever. You don’t have to stand up in the shower. You don’t have to eat three meals a day. You don’t have to change out of your pyjamas. Scrap the “should”. What do you “choose”? How can you make that happen?

 

The underlying reason we can’t give ourselves permission is trust. Because we’ve been raised and are living in a society with many rules and then all the unwritten rules as well, and the social contracts to follow, it becomes hard to know what’s real and what’s not. There’s a way life is “supposed” to go – get qualified after high school in something, get a job, meet a partner, buy a house, buy a dog, have kids, stay in job. This is very old-school now, thank goodness the world is changing but nobody talks about whether they’re really happy. All we see is beautifully curated Instagram posts.

 

So many rules that over time, has eroded the trust you have with yourself to make decisions that serve you. We have to ask others – our family, friends, partner, colleagues… we need someone to tell us what to do, how to be happy and how to live. Now I’ve said it out loud, how ridiculous does it seem?

 

Add to that, the way we goal-set and live in a very high-achieving society means we overcommit ourselves an set ourselves up for failure. That’s why the Your Year Series is 17 episodes long. That’s why it’s broken down into the four sections – Design, Understanding Your Foundation, Tools to Succeed and Forging Forward. It’s layered. Because goal achievement should be fun and you must stick to it because giving up on your goals erodes the trust we have with ourselves even further. Learn to trust yourself with the tools given to you throughout the Your Year Series.

 

You’ll know when you’re not honouring yourself and what you want because you’ll feel it. It may be minor at first but when you become open to sensing what is and isn’t working for you, the flood gates will open and you’ll be much more attuned to how certain things make you feel and when your boundaries are being pushed. All you have to do is listen.

 

It sounds simple and easy but that’s the truth – start to listen to what your body is telling you. When a friend calls and says “can I pop over?” when you’re about to sit down and watch your favourite Netflix show, say “sorry I’m just on my way out, how about tomorrow?”. When you’re in the middle of work and your phone keeps pinging you, turn it off. You’ve been walking by the ocean and want to go for a swim but don’t have your swimmers, go in in your clothes or without.

 

Start putting what you think above what other people think. I believe there will always be an element of care when it comes to other people’s opinions. Being part of the tribe means survival and it’s a powerful force and consequently, we care what others think to be accepted. But start putting what YOU think ahead of other people’s opinions. You can care about their opinions, but yours matters more.

 

With anything we’re achieving that we haven’t yet achieved, we follow a similar story-line to The Hero’s Journey. The Hero’s Journey was developed by Joseph Campbell who discovered that across cultures, stories follow a similar structure.. First off, we have the Adventure – the call to achieve a goal, the doubts of our ability to achieve it, and then we meet someone who gives us the permission to go after the goal. Next we go on the adventure – we undertake the goal achievement. We face tests, allies and enemies, we approach the inner cave and we go through the battle to claim the prize (aka the goal), often botching things up with our relationships along the way. Then, we have a chance to make it right.

 

Even after achieving our goal, we have more hurdles to overcome to keep it sustainable.  On the way home we face and overcome those hurdles, we die and are re-birthed which sounds dramatic but just means part of us we let go of with the old thing we no longer want or the thing holding us back, and we gain new perspectives, experiences or resources needed to continue with the prize we’ve claimed (the goal we’ve achieved, we experience revelations). We atone and receive a gift (usually forgiveness) and we return to our normal world changed.

 

You are the author of your story, the architect of your time here on planet Earth. It’s your right to design the life you want to live. And that life is now, today. You possess the strength, capabilities, freedom and courage to shape your existence into the masterpiece that will fulfil you. And if you’ve been waiting for someone to grant you permission to take what’s yours, consider it granted. I, Rhiannon Bush, hereby authorise you to chase after your dreams, achieve them and live the exact life you wish to live. There. You have permission. Now go and do the thing!

 

I’ll see you soon.

 

 

 

Hey! Before you go, I always find reviews really helpful when looking for new information or insights…

 

I you’ve found this podcast valuable, please take a minute to write a quick review about what you’ve found most beneficial for you, so other people can benefit from your insights, and listen in too. I would LOVE that!

Also, if there are any topics you’d like me to cover specifically about life coaching or the life coaching industry, visit rhiannonbush.com to contact me. Thanks for joining and I’ll see you in the next episode of Do I Need A Life Coach?!

 

 

Please note, this transcription may not be exact.