YOUR YEAR SERIES – STOP LIMITING YOUR THINKING

EP #73

 

“Do I need a life coach?” You’re listening to Episode 73, with Rhiannon Bush. Part 7 of the Your Year Series.

 

Welcome to the Do I need a life coach? Podcast. We’re here to discuss the ins- and outs- of the life coaching industry and give you tools to use, to see for yourself. I’m your host, Rhiannon Bush. Mother, management consultant and a passionate, certified life coach.

 

Well hello my friends. There’s a very famous quote said by lots of people “watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character for it becomes your destiny”.  Our values inform our beliefs, which create our thoughts. Our thoughts determine our actions, which give us our outcome. And this determines the quality of our life.

 

Now that you have your set of values, your true north, take the time to start asking yourself how you can meet more of your values easily and every day. How can you laugh more, if laughing is one of your top values? How can you be more honest? Have more adventure? Have more family time?

 

The key is to make this EASY because let’s be honest, our lives are hard enough. Our lives are jam packed and adding pressure isn’t a sustainable option so make meeting your values, easy and deliberate.

 

Write three ways you can meet your values, each day, easily.

 

If our thoughts create our feelings, then we need to monitor our thoughts to change our emotional state. This is the basis of emotional intelligence. When you can think thoughts on purpose, in high-pressure or back-against-the-wall moments, that give you the emotional resources you need to act and come out of it in a positive way, you’ve mastered emotional intelligence for yourself. The more we can put ourselves in an emotional state to perform and succeed, the more progress we’ll make. See why values are important? And see why what we believe about our values is important?

 

Beliefs are what we know to be true. A feeling of absolute certainty. Things we have seeded throughout our life based on experiences or what we sometimes refer to as defining moments – which we covered in Episode 72. Beliefs may or may not serve us and they often shape who we are. We learn our beliefs during our imprint phase from 0-7 years old. If it’s not consciously addressed (with a coach for instance), often behaviour we’ve adopted during that time in our lives will continue to play out. The thing is, as we get older, those behaviours may no longer serve us. The cool thing with coaching is that we can change this so we get more of what we want. 

 

Thoughts are a response from our beliefs, think of it as a by-product.  The by-product that, if so unconsciously programmed into our mind, we don’t even know we’re thinking, day after day.  And as our thoughts lead to our actions, we act the same, over and over again, and then wonder why we don’t change or why we’re not happy.

 

The actions that we take everyday result in the outcomes that we have.  This then becomes a set of experiences that make up our life. If life isn’t working, check the chain. 

 

Values – Beliefs – Thoughts – Actions – Outcomes - Life

 

Let’s look at beliefs. Grab your goal. Grab your values. If it’s in a workbook, all in one place, well done!

 

Now, in the values work we did, you should’ve done a bit about why these values are important to you.

 

Let’s look at your goal. If it’s a new goal, or a goal you’ve had for a while now, why haven’t you achieved yet? What’s stopping you?

 

I’ll put money on the fact that there’ll be hidden beliefs you have that are sabotaging your progress and preventing you from achieving that goal. And today, we’re going to do some digging to find out what they are.

 

Think about the area or elements within your goal – is it

• Money

• Family

• Romance

• Career

• Business

• Health

• Fitness

• Friends

• Fun

• Exploration / Travel

• Other hobbies or passions you have

Is it any sub-set of these?

 

Now, grab that category or however you’d choose to categorise your goal. Then think about examples of people you know who have been successful or unsuccessful in this area. Think extreme examples on opposite ends of the spectrum – like if it’s weight, think about super attractive people you’ve known, or famous people you idolize.

 

Now what do you believe is true about those people? Write it all down.

 

For example in business – beliefs can look like “you have to be an ass to run a successful business”. “Successful people are untrustworthy, they lie.” “People make their money unethically.” Weight looks like “my body’s not made to be skinny”, “I’m big boned”, “the world is nicer to skinny people”, “I’m not worthy enough to be skinny”.

 

Write them all down and keep going. Usually I’ll find clients will get really into it, and then stop. Then if they wait enough time, they’ll get a whole new wave of beliefs, then they’ll run out. Then they’ll go again. Aim for 20. Yes 20 beliefs. Trust me when I say once you get to 20, you’ll be able to keep going, and if you only get 5 you haven’t dug deeply enough to really shift anything and that makes the exercise invalid and surface-level, which is not what we’re looking for because that won’t help us get to where we want to be.

 

Next, ask yourself what in that list you believe is true about YOU. Write it all down.

 

Now you’ve written it all down (and you may need to add to this as you recognsie beliefs you have that you didn’t know were there…), recognise how ridiculous some of them are. Laugh at them, enjoy them, and let them go.

 

The beliefs you look at and consider have some foundation and carry emotional intensity for you, those are the ones we need to look at more closely.

 

Why? What makes that true? And what makes it true or untrue for you? Just go with wherever this exercise takes you. Keep going longer than you think you can and the results will be enlightening.

 

This exercise will open up your thinking and remove barriers that have limited you up until this point.  It’s only by recognizing our limiting thoughts that we can begin to find strategies for overcoming it. Most of the time, most of the ways of overcoming it will rely on some therapy with a coach or therapist. It will involve disclosing it and doing some NLP work to clear it and move on. It requires a bigger shift and you being more honest with yourself than you have been before. Then you can move on.

 

On finishing this episode, let me be clear about something. Nothing changes the fact that you’re worthy of achieving whatever it is you want. You are 100% worthy. Always have been, always will be. And nothing you have or have not done in your life changes your level of worthiness.

 

If not you, then who? Who deserves this more than you? Nobody. That’s who. So if you have a thing about being unworthy or low self-worth, listen to those thoughts, process them, journal or yell, or call me to work through it and process it, and then shut it down and never listen to that voice when it says those things, ever again because it’s a flat-out lie.

 

You are worthy my friend. If not you, then who?

 

I’ll see you soon!

 

 

 

Hey! Before you go, I always find reviews really helpful when looking for new information or insights…

 

I you’ve found this podcast valuable, please take a minute to write a quick review about what you’ve found most beneficial for you, so other people can benefit from your insights, and listen in too. I would LOVE that!

Also, if there are any topics you’d like me to cover specifically about life coaching or the life coaching industry, visit rhiannonbush.com to contact me. Thanks for joining and I’ll see you in the next episode of Do I Need A Life Coach?!

 

 

Please note, this transcription may not be exact.